You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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