The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize