Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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