i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
