i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
