Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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