Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
