He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
