Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
