You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
