it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
