why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
