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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working

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• (619): View more from California

  yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over

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• (305): View more from Florida

  We can have bacon on the roof while tanning

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