the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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