he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
