The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
