So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
