Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
