I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Randomize
