What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
