She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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