I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
