omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
