Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize