RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
