There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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