i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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