I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
