proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
