umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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