You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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