I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
