Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
