There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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