Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
