I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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