at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
