im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
