Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
