i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize