I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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