I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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