I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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