Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
