i permit you to call me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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