would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
