You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
