with your own penis?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
