i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
