so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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