goodnight i made you a song goodbye
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
