What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
