i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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