Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
