He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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