considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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