He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
