we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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