i was born a porn star she said
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
