He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
