What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
