dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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