are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
