i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
