in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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