Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
