she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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