Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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