You're so nebulous sometimes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ugly people sure do ruin things
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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