So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
